Prayer is a funny thing, it’s not always answered when, where and how we want it but it is always answered.

You can’t always understand at the time why things are happening but often when we look back it’s a good job we didn’t get what we wanted! Garth Brooks sings this amazing song called Unanswered Prayers, it’s about how much he loves his wife and what a blessing she is in his life and when he bumps into his high school sweetheart and looks back at how much he prayed for things to work out between them he thanks God for not answering his prayers.

Hubby has been promoted and his 4 month trip away has been cancelled. We knew he was going to be promoted for ages and a promotion normally means a posting. I really wanted to get Scotland but I really, really didn’t want to get TCW. TCW is the Tactical Communication Wing, basically when any trouble kicks off they’re deployed and they’re the first people in there, it means a lot of time away and a lot of worry! So I spent a lot of time praying “please Lord not TCW, anywhere but TCW”. Really what I meant was I don’t want him to be away all the time getting shot at.

So when he came home and told me that his promotion had come through and he thought he’d got a post in I.T down here I was a bit gutted it wasn’t Scotland but I know we’ll get there eventually, I was just so relieved it wasn’t TCW so I kind of half heartedly gave thanks, “thanks God for it not being TCW” but I was really thinking, why not Scotland, in my head. Anyway, his 4 month detachment had been cancelled so I was delighted about that.

And then he came home and told me that he hadn’t got I.T. He’d got TCW! I was completely gutted! I was so upset I just couldn’t believe it. He was going to be going off to Iraq and Afghanistan and goodness knows where else and I would be sat at home worried out of my head waiting for the phone to ring. I actually asked God “Why did you do this, why?” I had actually prayed thank you to God earlier for not letting it happen and now this! I was so angry and disappointed and just devastated really but then I felt like God was saying to me “just trust me, have confidence in me” so I thought, ok, I will, God’s gonna help me through whatever comes my way, I might not like it but I’ll go with it.

It felt like I was being tested, I needed to have faith that everything was going to work out even though it was the last thing I felt like doing I knew I had to just trust. I think sometimes when you’re heart isn’t really in it your head had to take control and say, right, this is what you’re going to do, get on with it girl!!!

Well, turns out that even though he’s got TCW his post is non-deployable which means he won’t be spending weeks on end in various war zones dodging bullets and I won’t be a nervous wreck.
God did answer my prayers even though I didn’t realise it at the time. We didn’t get Scotland but that’s not what I asked for right now, God knows that’s where my heart lies and we’ll get there in his time. He has a plan for our lives and sometimes it doesn’t make sense but he puts us right where we need to be. He sees the bigger picture and he’s right beside us every step of the way loving and protecting us.

So thank God for guiding us, watching over us, answering our prayers when we don’t even realise it and for knowing that sometimes not answering them is the best thing he can do for us.

Some people think that if you’re a Christian you should be able to sail through life, no problems, no bother. Wouldn’t that be nice. Unfortunately it’s not true. We’re all human, we all have trials and problems, we all have up days and down days and we all need a bit of help sometimes.

There is only 6 weeks till Hubby goes away. It’s getting closer and closer and I don’t like it. A few weeks ago he came home from work with a booklet about what to expect prior to detachments and I thought “oh for goodness sake, I don’t need some stupid booklet to tell me I’m going to be a bit anxious because my husband is disappearing for 4 months” but the other day I had a flick through it. It tells you what stages you go through prior to the separation and it’s amazing, you really do, everything they’ve said is exactly what happens.
You go through the denial stage where it’s so far away it’s not worth thinking about, you go through the arguing about stupid stuff stage like if he leaves the toilet seat up one more time I’m going to rip it off and beat him over the head with it, you go through the clingy stage and you go through the weepy stage which is where we’re at, at the moment (well by “we” I mean “me”).

My ma gave me a copy of the Footprints poem which I have framed in the kitchen, I love it, it’s one of favourites but when something is there in front of you every day you hardly ever read it. When you do read it, it really reminds you that God is always with you, even when you don’t realise it.

I think there’s only one set of footprints in my life right now and they sure aint mine!